so more has happened since the last time i wrote (protected post) that shed some more light on the situation concerning myself and the guy i was seeing. i won't get into it here, because it's too personal for all involved. i will say this, though. on one hand, the new knowledge makes me feel a little better and the current situation makes a lot more sense to me. on the other hand, it makes me feel worse because what i have found, at least for myself, that i have feelings that i didn't want to admit to anyone, even to myself. and yet, i feel as if everything is on hold until things stabilize. i wonder if it's worth it.
